Night Thoughts
After Obi Wan had left I remained at Dex's until he closed down late that night.
Now, back in my quarters, sleep won't come and even meditation did nothing to relax me. I sit, my back against the pillow and a cup of hot coco in my hands, in my bed thinking back to my conversation and the sudden illness of my Padawan.
It is not often that Obi Wan confides in anyone, he is too private of a person, has learned over the years to hide his emotions and thoughts quite well. And although we have been friends since early childhood he has remained an inigma of sorts to me. I have watched Anakin grow under his tutelige, noticed the changes he began to go through. He and Obi Wan have become more than just Master and Apprentice, they are brothers.
I too worry about the Jedi who are out there at this moment, trying to save a Galaxy falling apart in senseless fighting. What if we are not able to do what we are sent to do? The face and image of the Jedi have changed already in the public eye. Many see us as a nuisance, a disturbance in their lives, deem us as destroyers not keepers of the peace as it had been for a millenium.
Wrapped in a blanket I walk into the kitchen and back into my bedroom. A cold shiver runs down my spine and I can feel the Force move around me in fast motions, like waves of the ocean.
And what will become of my young Padawan? After our last mission she changed and was befallen by a sudden sickness upon our return. The healers are at the end of their wisdom and even I have not been able to shed any light onto this. Perhaps Master Yoda has some adivice. Tomorrow I will make one more attempt of giving her all of my strengh to fight and live.
Eventually I will have to join my troops again in the field and if she is not well enough will have to stay behind in the temple which worries me. At this moment I miss my former Padawan Kriss with whom I could talk freely about my worries.
Tiredness overcomes and the need to lie down is overwhelming. Although there is still much I have on my mind I lie down and the drowsiness of welcomed sleep carries me away.
Now, back in my quarters, sleep won't come and even meditation did nothing to relax me. I sit, my back against the pillow and a cup of hot coco in my hands, in my bed thinking back to my conversation and the sudden illness of my Padawan.
It is not often that Obi Wan confides in anyone, he is too private of a person, has learned over the years to hide his emotions and thoughts quite well. And although we have been friends since early childhood he has remained an inigma of sorts to me. I have watched Anakin grow under his tutelige, noticed the changes he began to go through. He and Obi Wan have become more than just Master and Apprentice, they are brothers.
I too worry about the Jedi who are out there at this moment, trying to save a Galaxy falling apart in senseless fighting. What if we are not able to do what we are sent to do? The face and image of the Jedi have changed already in the public eye. Many see us as a nuisance, a disturbance in their lives, deem us as destroyers not keepers of the peace as it had been for a millenium.
Wrapped in a blanket I walk into the kitchen and back into my bedroom. A cold shiver runs down my spine and I can feel the Force move around me in fast motions, like waves of the ocean.
And what will become of my young Padawan? After our last mission she changed and was befallen by a sudden sickness upon our return. The healers are at the end of their wisdom and even I have not been able to shed any light onto this. Perhaps Master Yoda has some adivice. Tomorrow I will make one more attempt of giving her all of my strengh to fight and live.
Eventually I will have to join my troops again in the field and if she is not well enough will have to stay behind in the temple which worries me. At this moment I miss my former Padawan Kriss with whom I could talk freely about my worries.
Tiredness overcomes and the need to lie down is overwhelming. Although there is still much I have on my mind I lie down and the drowsiness of welcomed sleep carries me away.
Posted by Master Adana at 6:35 PM::
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11 Comments:
I'm sorry, Master. I miss you as well. Please forgive me, but I can't come bak just yet...
There is nothing to forgive, just come back alive.
I know how you feel. We are dropping off like flies these days.
I'm afraid of what that means Ani.
Oh Master Adana, I do hope she gets well soon... *tries to look happy* No fear Master Adana, something goods gotta happen one day soon... *wishes these bad times would go away and bring forth happy days*
The Force guides us, in time the air will clear and all will be seen. We must still fight on.
Thank you everyone for your kind and wise words.
I do have faith in the Force and Obi Wan, one thing I neve stop doing and that is figh, because the day I give up doing so I might as well be gone.
I concur with what Adana said.. come back alive.. we miss you.. i will never give up fighting either , it's as natural to me as breathing. But I have to admit.. I i'm tired of the fighting.. the blood, the screams of the dead and dying.. i just want it all to end so we cna have some sort of a normal life..
I don't think our lives will ever be normal again after the war but carry the hope that we will find our inner peace.
Inner peace is a joke for me.. Only the happy illusion is what I have. Tormented screams echo in my ears.. I can still hear them even when I sleep .. force.. just let it end..
It will one day, Phobia and until then we do have to keep faith.
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